Scientists- Move over Kobe beef and aged whiskey. It turns out cheese is the most stolen food in the world, says a recent global study.
That's the finding of a new report by the U.K.'s Center for Retail Research, which surveyed 1,187 retailers representing more than 250,000 retail outlets across 43 countries.
The figures showed 4% of cheese went missing from store shelves.
This one hits home. No lie I think I accounted for 20% of the world's cheese theft back when I was in college. Thought I was the smoothest criminal this side of Michael Jackson. I probably made off with a good 450 mozzarella string cheeses from the campus Wawa between my sophomore and junior years. The truth is though everyone has stolen something while drunk and I'll be the first to admit my M.O. was lifting two solid handfuls of string cheeses each drunken night and stuffing them in my jeans like I was some sort of wasted fraternity rat. It comes down to simple mathematics. The taste plus portability times concealability equals how worth it it is to steal a food item, and cheese gets the highest of marks. Long story short, one morning after blacking out and waking up alone to nothing but a wasteland of plastic wrappers blowing like tumbleweeds across my dorm room floor I decided to hang em up. I couldn't face who I had become and put an end to my days of committing grand larceny. But I see cheese continuing to be one of the most sought after and highly stolen foods in the world for years to come. Highlight from the video:
I don't know what the fuck is up with this Gollum cubs fan but from the looks of it whatever she's holding is the one cheese to rule them all.
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