Ohio- The Mansfield News Journal reports that dentist Craig Callen and his associates are offering kids $1 per pound of candy they bring in, with a 5-pound limit per child. The dentists are also holding a drawing for two children's bikes.
This guy might be the biggest dick on the planet. At least in Ohio. Halloween and Christmas are number 1 and 1a when it comes to holidays for kids, and Craig Callen is singlehandedly trying to ruin what should be one of the happiest days of a kids year. But I've got some bad news for Dr. Callen. His ploy is going to backfire. All these kids are going to fight like their fucking lives depended on it to hold on to their stash, even if their parents try to make them sell it off. In the elementary school world a king size candy bar is worth about a thousand dollars. Whereas a thousand dollars is worth shit because your parents would take that money and spend it on their own selfish asses. And unless the bike has pegs on it no one is falling for that trap either, Craig. Even if his brainwashing works on some of Ohio's unsuspecting youth, those kids are doomed to a month of ridicule with the most pathetic lunches imaginable, while Timmy and Sally dump out brown paper bags full of Reeses and Milky Ways. Being this guys kid must be the worst thing imaginable. Not only is he going to take away all your halloween candy and give it to the homeless, but youre gonna have to put up with being known as the kid of the guy who tried to ruin Halloween for everyone. And I'll bet dollars to donuts that each kid who gets manipulated into this atrocity takes his $5 and goes immediately to the drug store to stock back up.
Every year for Christmas I wanted a Powerwheels or a bike with pegs and I never got one.
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